I’m going to show some of the journaling in my own handwriting that I found in a journal that I kept while in rehab. I read over the journal and man was I messed up! I didn’t realize how many drugs they had me on. My parents and friends said I look comatose and looked real out of it. See, I don’t remember all of this. I think they like to keep you doped up so you want cause trouble. Well that didn’t stopped. I caused trouble anyway. Than, you couldn’t tell me not to do something, because I will do it. I love challenges! Anyway I’m going to share a nuts view when they’re in therapy. Some of it looks kind of normal. But also it I talk about some of my dreams and where I want to be in the future. I was so sad. Now, 13 years later I’m finally living the dreams that I had back in 1998.  Most of these notes are about suicide, loneliness, guilt, black outs, my family, what I hate, what makes me depressed, bipolar, etc.  It’s a little hard to read, but I tried.